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Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint;
protect my life from the threat of the enemy.
Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked,
from that noicy crowd of evildoers.

They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim their words like deadly arrows.
They shoot from ambush at the innocent man;
they shoot at him sudddenly, without fear.

They encourage each other in evil plans,
they talk about hiding their snares;
they say, "Who will see them?"
They plot injustice and say,
"We have devised a perfect plan!"
Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.

But God will shoot them with arrows;
suddenly they will be struck down.
He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads with scorn.
~Psalm 64:1-8

I've never been much for the devil. I don't like thinking about him, or even acknowledging that he exists. I mean, I know that there is so much evil in the world. But to think about Satan and his army of minions has always been a little..out of my range, I guess.

In the past couple of months, however, I have changed my entire viewpoint of the issue. Here's why: I have been under attack from the evil one. And I know how that sounds. Because before all of this happened, I was in YOUR shoes, and reading this would have made me think, "Riiiight..." But, let me sum up what has happened, and you decide.

Amazing things that God has accomplished through me this year:
1. I started out this year stronger in my faith than I had ever been in my entire life.
2. I went on a mission-like trip to a hot spring-break site to preach the gospel to my peers for a whole week.
3. I moved in with someone who was on the edge about this whole Jesus thing, and have been trying to live as a Christ-like example to her.
4. I became a bible study leader on my campus.
5. I have been in prayer about the salvation of my family members pretty much all year.

Things that have happened as a result:
1. School was very very hard for me this semester
2. I spent an entire day in the ER with an infected colon. (How the heck did I get an infected colon??)
3. My beautiful baby niece Gwen was taken up into the Father's arms after not even 3 months here on earth with her mommy and daddy.
4. My grandmother's health has rapidly degraded this year.
5. My car flooded. That's right. It flooded. And as a result, I had $1500 in damages to repair.
6. My parents have started to fight about money and loans and insurance, with me at the center of it.

So....either I have had really bad "luck" lately, or Satan is bombarding me. Almost every aspect of my life has been effected negatively in the past year. After my car broke down a week ago, I let go. I cried and cried, slept and slept, and lost about 5 pounds (in addition to the weight I had lost during the stress of finals week). It was the closest to "hitting rock bottom" as I have ever been. And now, when I look back at the first half of this week, I realize that I had *almost* allowed Satan to win. I got frighteningly close to announcing him as the winner as I became completely absorbed with my own self-pity, shut out the world, and picked fights with the people I loved.

Luckily, God whispered my name. And through my sobs, I heard Him. He touched my chin in the dark, and lifted my face towards Him. And He reminded me with gentle words of how much He loves me, and how much strength He has to offer. In just a few minutes within that time, I was renewed. I was drawn to my bible. I was drawn to the things I used to love doing--journaling, reading books to further my faith, lengthy prayers... It all became so clear. It was like a cloud of smoke had instantly cleared. As soon as God re-entered my heart and mind, Satan didn't stand a chance.

Now I see: there is a spiritual war beneath the surface. I didn't realize it because I had never been so deeply involved. There are literally forces at work that we cannot see. Good and evil. God's army vs. Satan's. It is real. And you have to pick a side. If you are somewhere in the middle, the smoke will build and build until the side has been picked for you--and you will regret it.

God put Psalm 64 on my heart to help me realize exactly why I have faced so many challenges and struggles this year. And now I know: it is because over the past year, I offended Satan. I entered enemy territory without being prepared..without even knowing that the other side existed. And as I stumbled along, without a proper defense, they were sharpening their swords. They shot from ambush at this innocent woman. They had a conspiracy ready. And they attacked.

This is much darker a subject than I usually write about. I just felt like I needed to share so that others can be more prepared than I was for the enemy's attacks.


Love,

A week ago today, my beautiful, almost-3-month old baby niece Gwendalyn passed away silently in her sleep. My sister and her husband woke to find the life gone from their baby girl's body. This tragedy has weighed heavy on my heart and mind, and it has devastated my family.

I don't understand God all the time, not even most of the time. I don't know why he chose to take baby Gwen away from her parents before they had even had a chance to really get to know her. Or why I only got to spend a few short days with my perfect, healthy niece. But I know that he is holy, mighty, righteous, and all-knowing. I know that he loves his children. And I know my Jesus. And that has gotten me through this past week.

Here is an email I just sent my sister, who is escaping the sad glances of the townspeople in our small hometown by driving to stay with family in Florida for a few days:

"Jenni,

Psalm 34:17-19

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all.

So I came across this in my ol' bible the other day, and it stuck out to me mostly because of the words "brokenhearted" and "crushed in spirit." If you think about it, those two phrases pretty much sum up how it feels to lose someone. It is not just being sad; it is having your heart ripped apart into pieces; it is having everything you knew to be true just crushed and shattered. So, I found this to be really encouraging because it says that God is close to people who are feeling this way, and he hears whatever they say to him.

I also liked this because it says that "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." Bad things happen to good, even righteous people. It doesn't say why, it just says that God is the answer to look to.

I just found these verses to be really applicable to the way I've been feeling and the things I've been thinking about. Thought you might appreciate them too.

I love you! Have a good time in Florida! And when you are at the beach, just think about how beautiful the ocean is and how God made it all. The earth is just a tiny little sliver of the splendor of God...Gwen is the one who is seeing the full view of it!

Love,
Shannon"

Any prayers for my family through this time of tragedy would be greatly appreciated. A week later, the wound is still very fresh.


Love,

I'm involved with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) group at my school. This fall I'm leading a small group with one of my friends, and I wanted to take a minute to tell you about the study we are doing.

So, first of all, Cru is all about reaching every college student for Christ. "The Essentials" is a Bible discussion guide that was created out of that premise. Basically, it is designed to lead a non-Christian, from having no biblical or spiritual knowledge of Jesus, to having an in-depth relationship with Him, and being able to lead his or her own Bible discussion group. It first goes through the "DNA" of Christianity, teaching the basics about what we believe, but looking at the scriptures with a fresh perspective. It then goes on to cover several other topics that can encourage college students specifically to further their relationship with Christ and reach out to others in His love.

Cru actually offers the study as a free download here, if you want to check it out, go through it yourself, or maybe even lead a small group with it! The download link is a training guide, which talks about the study and gives strategies for leading it. The second link is the leader's guide, which is about 63 pages long.

I'm really excited to be a part of this, and I can't wait to see how God is going to use my friend and I in this Bible study!

Love,

I've just finished the book Answering the Guy Questions by Leslie Ludy, the fourth Ludy book I've read so far. And I have to say, it lives up to their standards.

In this book, Leslie goes through some of the issues that girls have confronted her with pertaining to guys, relationships, and how God plays into it all. It was an informative, encouraging, entertaining and, at times, uncomfortable read. In her past books, Leslie doesn't sugar-coat God's standards for young women, and she makes no exception in Answering the Guy Questions. She approaches topics like modesty, purity, and interactions with guys in a way that others have labeled "extreme," but which Leslie proclaims is necessary for set-apart young women if they wish to have an intimate relationship with Jesus.

I really enjoyed reading this book, as I have all of the Ludy books. It was inspiring for me, a young woman who is in a relationship, and I think it can be inspiring to women of all ages and circumstances as well.

You can buy the book at Leslie and Eric's store. Just click here.


Love,



PS if this is a topic that interests you, I'd encourage you to read Leslie Ludy's other books, which you can find in the sidebar of this blog.

I've been in Florida the past week. It's nice to go on vacation to places that you have family...that way you can visit with them and stay for free!! :) Anyways, visiting beautiful places always inspires me to meditate on the beauty of God, the creator. It's kind of funny because in reality, these "beautiful" landscapes that are so breathtaking to me can only be a passing flicker compared the the intense and pure beauty of God...it is a big thing to think about!

Anyways, while I was away, I pondered the word oasis. Dictionary.com defines it as, "something serving as a refuge, relief, or pleasant change from what is usual, annoying, difficult, etc." To me, the beach served as an oasis, getting me away from my usual, and I supposes sometimes annoying or difficult routine of life. It was nice to have some time to myself and a break...a breather.

But when you really think about it, what could be more of an oasis, physically and mentally, than a really passionate encounter with Christ? I have found that time spent with God is rejuvenating, refreshing, inspiring, and it warms my heart. No amount of time spent at any place on this earth can compare with that kind of oasis! The sound of the ocean can't compete with the gentle whisper of God, and the warm sun doesn't even come close to warming me the way my Jesus does.

Now, I'm not saying I never want to go to the beach again!! I'm just saying...I was reminded of the everyday vacation I get to have with God in the driver's seat.

Love,

I heard this song for the first time at Big Break. It is such a powerful song that it has stuck with me! I listen to it often as a reminder of the saving grace of Jesus. Enjoy!




Your sister in Christ,