Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint;
protect my life from the threat of the enemy.
Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked,
from that noicy crowd of evildoers.
They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim their words like deadly arrows.
They shoot from ambush at the innocent man;
they shoot at him sudddenly, without fear.
They encourage each other in evil plans,
they talk about hiding their snares;
they say, "Who will see them?"
They plot injustice and say,
"We have devised a perfect plan!"
Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.
But God will shoot them with arrows;
suddenly they will be struck down.
He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads with scorn.
~Psalm 64:1-8
I've never been much for the devil. I don't like thinking about him, or even acknowledging that he exists. I mean, I know that there is so much evil in the world. But to think about Satan and his army of minions has always been a little..out of my range, I guess.
In the past couple of months, however, I have changed my entire viewpoint of the issue. Here's why: I have been under attack from the evil one. And I know how that sounds. Because before all of this happened, I was in YOUR shoes, and reading this would have made me think, "Riiiight..." But, let me sum up what has happened, and you decide.
Amazing things that God has accomplished through me this year:1. I started out this year stronger in my faith than I had ever been in my entire life.
2. I went on a mission-like trip to a hot spring-break site to preach the gospel to my peers for a whole week.
3. I moved in with someone who was on the edge about this whole Jesus thing, and have been trying to live as a Christ-like example to her.
4. I became a bible study leader on my campus.
5. I have been in prayer about the salvation of my family members pretty much all year.
Things that have happened as a result:1. School was very very hard for me this semester
2. I spent an entire day in the ER with an infected colon. (How the heck did I get an infected colon??)
3. My beautiful baby niece Gwen was taken up into the Father's arms after not even 3 months here on earth with her mommy and daddy.
4. My grandmother's health has rapidly degraded this year.
5. My car flooded. That's right. It flooded. And as a result, I had $1500 in damages to repair.
6. My parents have started to fight about money and loans and insurance, with me at the center of it.
So....either I have had really bad "luck" lately, or Satan is bombarding me. Almost every aspect of my life has been effected negatively in the past year. After my car broke down a week ago, I let go. I cried and cried, slept and slept, and lost about 5 pounds (in addition to the weight I had lost during the stress of finals week). It was the closest to "hitting rock bottom" as I have ever been. And now, when I look back at the first half of this week, I realize that I had *almost* allowed Satan to win. I got frighteningly close to announcing him as the winner as I became completely absorbed with my own self-pity, shut out the world, and picked fights with the people I loved.
Luckily, God whispered my name. And through my sobs, I heard Him. He touched my chin in the dark, and lifted my face towards Him. And He reminded me with gentle words of how much He loves me, and how much strength He has to offer. In just a few minutes within that time, I was renewed. I was drawn to my bible. I was drawn to the things I used to love doing--journaling, reading books to further my faith, lengthy prayers... It all became so clear. It was like a cloud of smoke had instantly cleared. As soon as God re-entered my heart and mind, Satan didn't stand a chance.
Now I see: there is a spiritual war beneath the surface. I didn't realize it because I had never been so deeply involved. There are literally forces at work that we cannot see. Good and evil. God's army vs. Satan's. It is real. And you have to pick a side. If you are somewhere in the middle, the smoke will build and build until the side has been picked for you--and you will regret it.
God put Psalm 64 on my heart to help me realize exactly why I have faced so many challenges and struggles this year. And now I know: it is because over the past year, I offended Satan. I entered enemy territory without being prepared..without even knowing that the other side existed. And as I stumbled along, without a proper defense, they were sharpening their swords. They shot from ambush at this innocent woman. They had a conspiracy ready. And they attacked.
This is much darker a subject than I usually write about. I just felt like I needed to share so that others can be more prepared than I was for the enemy's attacks.
Love,